New Convenant Church senior pastor Bishop Tudor Bismark says the secret to lasting marriages is couples taking commitment seriously and working out challenges they encounter.
Bismark (TB), who is also the founder and overseer of Jabula New Life Ministries International, spoke about his 38 year marriage to Pastor Chi Chi Bismark and his ministry on the platform In Conversation with Trevor hosted by Alpha Media Holdings chairman Trevor Ncube (TN).
Below are excerpts from the interview.
TN: Welcome to In Conversation with Trevor, brought to you by Titan Law.
Today I’m in conversation with the senior pastor of the New Life Covenant Church, Bishop Tudor Bismark. Bishop Tudor Bismark, welcome to In Conversation with Trevor.
TB: Thank you very much.
TN: Congratulations. It’s a big day for you and your wonderful wife. You are celebrating 38 years of marriage. How have you done that?
- Mavhunga puts DeMbare into Chibuku quarterfinals
- Bulls to charge into Zimbabwe gold stocks
- Ndiraya concerned as goals dry up
- Letters: How solar power is transforming African farms
Keep Reading
TB: Well, we met in 1978. I wanted to get married in 1980. We were a bit too young. And then my sister passed away in September 1981.
So we moved the wedding from October 1981 to February 20, 1982. And it just seems like yesterday.
TN: That’s a great achievement, Bishop, given the attack that marriages of men and women of God are experiencing. What’s been the formula for you guys sticking it out?
TB: Basically, the first year we were married was love and roses and so on. And then we had our major disagreement and the D word was thrown in.
And then we vowed from that day, December 1982, we’ll never use that word again.
And whatever we go through, we’ll work it out. And then we also began to find responsible counsellors and people that could guide us and advise us.
We have had ups and downs like everybody else, but we’ve committed to a lifetime relationship being together.
TN: What advice do you give to couples going through stormy territories as far as marriage is concerned?
TB: Well, life is really unpredictable. No matter where you are in the world, it’s just terribly unpredictable.
We go through the vows and we deal with them for the better, for worse, for richer, for poorer.
We deal with those actual dynamics, what that means and to take that commitment very seriously. It becomes challenging, but we’ve encouraged people to work through those.
We have not been in that area of challenge, but we have helped couples survive and work through those kinds of things.
I have always said I always want my children to respect their mum and to honour their mum, and I wouldn’t want to put their mother through a difficult time.
And that’s been basically a compass and a guideline for me.
TN: That’s awesome. Let’s go to the beautiful people that brought you to this world, your mum and dad.
Your dad was a musician, and interestingly, your mother was a Muslim prior to getting married to your father. Share your journey.
TB: Well, on dad’s side, my granddad, grandpa was Bismark Petit. They emigrated when he was a little boy into Malawi in the area. They then came to Rhodesia.
He married my grandmother, my dad’s real mum, who was from Kimberley, South Africa.
Grandpa then remarried and had a number of children from his second wife, Granny Bismark, who passed away a few years ago.
On my mother’s side, my grandfather was born in Surat in India. My mother was born in Francistown, and then moved to Bulawayo because there were so many opportunities back then.
And my mum and dad met, he went to a dance, he was playing in the band, eyes fell on each other. Married in 56, May 4 1956. I was born 1957.
TN: How was it like growing up? Talk to me about a young Tudor Bismark. What’s the most stupid thing that you ever did?
TB: I went to school, started in Trinan’s school. I had just turned five. January 4 is a tough time.
I should have spent another year at home, but my dad got a job working on the railways and they were laying tracks from what is now Rutenga to Triangle.
There were no shops out there, there were no roads.
And so my dad had to put me with relatives to go to school. I didn’t understand it.
My sister, Bernie, who comes after me, was put with another relative. And then in the third year, when my brother Donovan, who was 1959, had to go to school, they couldn’t put him in another relative.
So they then sent us to Embakwe Mission (in Matabeleland South), which was so traumatic.
TN: Why was it traumatic?
TB: Well, the thing is that we had never been in that environment, when you go to a boarding school, you have to have somebody that can protect you, look after you, fight for you.
In my first fight, I was pulling Michael Holmes’ hair. I thought that’s how you fight because that’s how I fought with my sisters. And he battered me in the eye. But again, Embakwe grew me up really quickly.
TN: In what way?
TB: Well, it made me appreciate, number one, values; to appreciate home, life, and family because I met a lot of kids there that were on welfare.
They were taken away from broken families. Some were orphans. I got to appreciate that.
I also got a tremendous, tremendous grounding in terms of education because the Catholic school, mostly Irish and British nuns, who were so anti-Rhodesian front, disliked Ian Smith, you know, disliked apartheid, and put in us, you know, actual values, etc., and the value of education.
So when I left Embakwe and went to Founders High School (in Bulawayo), we were literally two classes ahead in education.
TN: When, where and how did Jesus Christ find you?
TB: I had a basic experience at eight years old being from a subliminal Muslim family because my mother wasn’t thorough at practicing.
But at Embakwe, the kids were getting their first Holy Communion, and my sister, brother and myself were the only ones that didn’t take Holy Communion because we didn’t go for the training.
And so I then asked my parents if I could. They said no, but I could serve in the altar.
But there was this appetite for being a Christian. My mom then, who began to seek, and based on our experience in school, befriended the Archbishop of the Anglican Church in Botswana, who said your children need to be confirmed.
And so we then started getting training in the Anglican Church. And I was confirmed at the age of 12.
And then in 1974, I started preaching, became the leader of Scripture Union, and started preaching there.
And then in 1978, l got my first license to legitimately preach for the organisation I was with.
TN: But let’s start with Zimbabwe. How has the challenge been? How has the journey been?
TB: I had a visitation, a supernatural visitation, and went back to Zimbabwe. It was like, you go back to Zimbabwe.
You know, the country just became independent. People weren’t really sure on what Robert Mugabe was going to do.
He had won a huge majority, which was stunning. Nobody knew what he would do.
They thought he might go some other way. And I was like, I’m not going back to Zimbabwe.
We said we need to go back. And when I agreed to, I had this dream, which was so poignant, that I would build a church that had at least 10 000 people and a building to go with it.
And at that time, there were very few churches anywhere that had more than a couple of thousand people.
And so some people accused me of egotism and narcissism and whatever the case might be but we held on to that and we anchored with that and remained.
Even after the challenges that came in the 90s and then 2000s, we built our entire idea and thought around that visitation from God that we ought to be here and remain here.
There have been many opportunities to leave. We refused to leave. We have committed to being in Zimbabwe and remaining here.
TN: What’s a day like in the life of Bishop Tudor Bismark? What’s your day like?
TB: Again, before the mid-90s, I was having just a general day, office boy, going early in the morning.
But I said I would not turn 40 without an earned degree. And so 1997, coming towards 40, I went back to school and earned my degree.
And because there was dial-up, the internet was just coming, I had to use the dial-up thing with the phone line.
And so I had to come early so I could get a decent signal and stuff like that. So I started coming to the office about two in the morning.
And then it just became a lifestyle and a habit. So now I get up at about 4am. I leave the house about quarter past, half past four.
And every day, religiously, including today on our anniversary, I was at the office at quarter to five.
And go through emails, go through schedules, things I have to do, appointments. Certain days it’s study time.
And then I start meeting people from probably eight to about one, two, and then prepare for whatever I’m doing in the evenings.
Fairly regimented in that time is specific reading. It’s not random. It’s specific reading. So I’m right now doing leadership.
So January into March is leadership. April into June is finance. And then anything from August, I start reading probably into relationship building, team building, et cetera, church stuff, how to build churches.
And then from October, I have maybe two or three novels that I read. I’m an awful pastor. I’m never home.
