Compliments of the season

By Tim Middleton | Feb. 9, 2025

Compliments are gold dust. They can have a really positive impact on the recipients.

We may have attended a function where the MC or a speaker stands up to address the gathering and announces, “All protocol observed”. Protocol means that people’s names and titles are announced and recognised. In truth, in saying “All protocol observed”, all the person is trying to do is get around having to go through a long list of people whose names and presence apparently are more important than others but still sound polite! Then too we might have been in a gathering where someone stands up to introduce someone else who will introduce someone else evidently more important who will introduce someone else (how many more people will we need to get to the chosen speaker?) who will introduce someone else etc. who ultimately, eventually, thankfully will introduce the speaker. The necessary protocol has been observed, it would appear.

We do love protocol here, it seems. Another dimension of protocol is to greet people in January (and even in February, it would appear) whom we have not seen since last year (or before) with the statement “Compliments of the season”. At first glance, such a statement might appear as polite yet as obtuse as “All protocol observed”. We are just doing the polite thing in greeting someone in this manner. After all, what compliments are we actually offering? Is it a matter of we cannot think of a compliment that is suitable so we will just declare the generalisation? Or are there specific compliments due to others at different seasons of the year? When do we stop saying “Compliments of the season”? When does that season end? It sounds like giving compliments is a sport!

So, what compliments are due now for this season? Are we referring to Christmas as being the current season, implying that as it is Christmas we must be nice to other people? Why do we not offer compliments of the season in other seasons? Are they different? Do we even give any?

Compliments are gold dust. They can have a really positive impact on the recipients. What is more, some compliments are wonderful examples of descriptive expression of which our English teachers would have been proud. Someone has said that “Your hair has better bounce than a kangaroo on a trampoline” or “Your nail art should be hanging in the Louvre”; then we might delight in saying “Your loyalty makes golden retrievers look uncommitted” and “You’re so smart. I bet you do crossword puzzles in ink.” Above them all, we might choose the compliment where we say that “If you were any more amazing, you’d be twins.” Is that not a compliment for all seasons?

We even manage to do compliments with single words, from the more erudite “Star!” and “Legend!” to the more colloquial “Dope”, “Gucci”, “DYN-O-MITE!” “Savage” and best of all perhaps, “GOAT!” However, they can actually have the opposite effect where the compliment is anything but one, such as “You have a unique set of skills that can somehow turn any situation into an awkward one” and “You’re not clumsy. The floor and the walls are just really friendly to you.” Or how about: “You’re a star! You only come out at night”! The reality is that when we say “Compliments of the season” we are actually not passing on any compliment! And often compliments are subtle ways of getting around a tricky situation or of gaining favour without any meaning or depth. Sadly, though, we do not often receive compliments. However, one man has shared how the biggest compliment, albeit indirectly, he received was when, having claimed to be a pensioner, he was asked for his ID to prove it (a long time after he had previously been asked for an ID)!

The trouble is that once we have got over the hassle of having to share our compliments of the season, we go on to share our complaints of the season (as predictive text also tends to be more keen to say) and indeed we tend to do so far more vehemently and specifically. We are far more liberal with our complaints than with our compliments, while complaints have a far deeper, cutting impact than compliments. Before we share our complaint, we should rather say something positive (to show there is no bias) as well as offer a solution (to show there is considered thought).

So, what compliments are we going to give our children this season (and every season)? What compliments will we give our teachers this season (and onwards)? Will we offer more compliments than complaints? It would be a good start! Note though, observing protocol is not a compliment.