The issue of substance and drug misuse is one of the greatest issues of concern to both families and nations alike. This has left scores of people and families heartbroken.
In a sad and heart-breaking development story which took place in Harare’s, Mabvuku suburb in which a 24-year-old man took his own life by hanging himself after taking some illicit substance.
He left a lot of people baffled and speechless as they could not comprehend what had really happened to the young man and what really had led the boy to take such a drastic measure.
It is believed that the deceased’s parents were divorced and that the mother had taken custody of the four children.
The late Sam had excelled in his ‘O’ and ‘A’ levels and had proceeded to undertake a degree in mining.
He had spent four years enrolled with the prestigious school of mines in Bulawayo. In his final year at the school of mines that’s when he decided to take the cruel path of ending his own life.
The late Sam was in his final year, studying Bachelor of Arts (Honours) Degree in Mining and Metallurgy with the School of Mines in Bulawayo.
It’s alleged the late Sam had started taking drugs in his early stages of life. Far back in his early stages of high school, about form two, he had embarked in the unpopular life style of drug abuse.
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The mother like any other parent did not take it lightly and employed various methods of trying to bring back the boy in the ‘normal’ course of life.
The various correctional ways attempted did not yield any results. The late continued misusing drugs which left the single parent dejected and flabbergasted.
Because the habit of drug abuse was cascaded to the younger siblings it was apparent that the mother of the deceased then decided to separate the boys.
She employed the strategy of ex communicating the bigger brother by way of expelling him from the house.
The boy then sought refuge in his maternal grandparents’ house, where he stayed for about two weeks. That’s when he decided to execute his deadly plan.
On the day in question he met so many people as he roamed around the high density suburb.
For some reasons the deceased intentionally never disclosed his demise to anyone as many confessed he just greeted them and passed.
Around 12 noon or even up to 1pm he was seen roaming the streets. It appears around those times that was his ‘last seen’ moments.
It was later discovered that he had entered the habit of selling household groceries, electrical gadgets and clothing.
This made the survivors to conclude that maybe he had accumulated massive debts in trying to purchase the so needed drugs, leading to the drug dealers threatening his life.
Some schools of thought deduced that this could be one of the sources of the suicidal thought.
Some also thought the boy was ashamed of his behaviour of selling household goods thus he decided to take his own life.
Then boom, when a Grade Seven pupil came home from school around after 2pm, that was when she came face to face with the dead body hung on the rafter of the roof of the maternal house.
Anyone can then shudder to imagine the mental health of the little toddler who was the first to discover the death of an uncle by suicide in the house.
Throughout the funeral procedures the mother was seen whirling and mourning her son’s death to the extent that many would sympathise with her.
On the burial day, after all had been done, the body was taken from the parlour straight to the grave yard.
As is usual, mourners were ferried to the grave yard by different modes of transport. Some went by bus others by private cars.
On the way, people were singing and mourning, little did many know that among the mourners were people of various opinions.
As if all this was not enough, someone decided to rub salt injuries.
Only when the church proceedings were taking place, one man took to the podium. He did not wait to be accorded the chance to give his speech.
Efforts were put to try and restrain him, to at least allow the church rituals to be completed. But all this was to no avail.
He busted into all sorts of chants discrediting the mother for ill-treating the boy. He accused the mother of being cruel and bringing boyfriends into the house disrespecting the ‘grown up’ boys thus leading to the death of the boy.
He also alleged that the mother abused the boy to the extent of making the boy wash her “insides”. He kept on emphasising the fact that the mother was the cause of the death of the boy.
Now trying to analyse the mental health of the deceased’s mother, her siblings and other relatives is a mammoth task. They have lost a loved one and someone is trying to paint them with a black brush. I wonder what then is going through the minds of the whole family. What really is the entire community going to take?
Are there people out there who would take it as that the mother, like any other parent, was trying to discipline her child or the rest of the audience would believe that the mother was being cruel to her son?
Losing a loved one to suicide, I can imagine, can have a profound impact on individuals, families, and communities.
The effects can be complex, varied, and long lasting. There is an emotional effect that includes shock and denial.
Obviously the initial reaction may include shock, denial and numbness, and making it difficult to process the loss. There is also guilt and self-blame.
Survivors may experience intense guilty, wondering if they could have done something to prevent the suicide.
Anger and frustration can also creep up. Feelings of anger, frustration and helplessness are common, as survivors struggle to understand why their loved one chose to end their life.
More often than not there is also prolonged sadness, depression and emotional pain that persist, affecting daily life and relationships.
Survivors may experience anxiety, hyper vigilance and a sense of ‘waiting for the other shoe to drop.’
Other than the emotional effects there are social and relational effects. Survivors may withdraw from social connections, feeling ashamed, guilty, or uncertain about how others will react.
There will also be an element of strained relationships. Relationships with family and friends can become strained, as survivors struggle to cope with their emotions and needs.
There is need for support system for survivors, as some relationships may not be able to provide the necessary emotional support.
Remember, healing from the loss of a loved one to suicide is a unique and individualized process.
One has to be patient, kind, and compassionate with oneself as one navigates this difficult journey. All this is being left in the hands of the creator.
