THERE are certain age restrictions applied to films that are deemed suitable for children, with one category being given as “Parental Guidance Advised” in recognition of inappropriate references not being suitable, sometimes coming with a disclaimer that “Some may find this disturbing”. It would seem that nowadays we are going to have to put an age restriction rating for our school sport, for the behaviour at such occasions is not always suitable for what happens at schools.
The statement or warning “Parental Guidance Advised” is very relevant, though in a way that we would not consider or expect. When it comes to school sport, “Parental Guidance Advised” should actually refer to parents need guidance on how to behave in front of children at school sporting events. They do not get it. In recent weeks, some schools have in fact issued some strong guidance and advice to parents before a number of derby fixtures in front of large crowds.
One school wrote at length that “In the heat of the competition, it can be easy to lose sight of the values that truly matter. But let us remember that our opponents are not our enemies; they are fellow parents and supporters whose children have trained just as hard as ours and are just as passionate about the game as we all are… As parents and supporters, we need to show our kids that respect starts with how we conduct ourselves on the side of the field. Our kids need to be encouraged to play hard, give their best, and strive for excellence, but they must do so with integrity. Although we all are officials in our own minds, we need to take the time to respect the rules of the game and of course the decisions of the officials. Understand that referees and umpires are there to ensure a fair and safe environment for all. Their role is crucial, and they deserve our respect and gratitude for their efforts no matter how aggrieved they might make us feel… honour our opponents, recognise their strengths, and acknowledge their good play.” Well said!
Another school issued a similar notice to parents (and other spectators) quoting someone who said that “Winning is not the pinnacle of achievement if it costs the essence of sportsmanship. The true victory lies in the spirit of the game, not at the expense of it” before going on to write that “The true value of sports lies in the lessons they teach us about teamwork, discipline, respect, not just in the final score.” The notice further asked several key and illuminating questions for parents to answer: “Are we valuing winning, as a school’s sports fraternity, more than what sport teaches in terms of values and principles? Is our fixation on winning blurring the lines of the purpose of education for our young men?” Again, well said! These are important questions that require honest accurate answers. School sport is not for parents’ entertainment; it is for children’s education.
We may wonder though why such statements need to be said. In very simple terms it comes down to this: many parents (and outside spectators) do not understand the purpose of school sport. They have not learned that important lesson themselves. Schools are places of learning so school sport is played for children to learn, and in the sporting realm in particular it means that they are to learn to “meet with triumph and disaster and treat those two imposters the same”. And how should that be? Win or lose, pupils must learn to show dignity, humility, integrity, serenity, sensitivity, honesty, honour, grace, gratitude, perseverance, smile. And the same goes for parents.
The sad fact is that even after such reminders were graciously, politely, respectfully sent out, some parents still decided to question loudly, abuse and shout at referees, in the presence of the children (who also began to question every decision made by the referee). Can they not read? Do they not understand? Do they not care? Furthermore, we might wonder why other parents did not try to stop them? Parents, it would seem, need to go back to school to learn important life lessons.
Do we have to get to the point where the referee will have to send the parent off the property before the game will resume? Will we have to have the referee send off the child of the badly behaved/educated parent for lessons to be learned? When will such parents ever learn? Sadly, they need to go back to school themselves to learn values – though it is unlikely they would make the grade. Parental guidance is desperately needed for them to learn what school sport is about.
- PARENTAL GUIDANCE NEEDED